Dear Romantic Beings of Earth,

Please, please, please! For the love of Escobar, do not make out in restaurants or coffee shops. Do not sit on each other’s laps and play Show and Tell with your tongues.

In fact, don’t even exceed the peck. The peck is enough!

I can see the movie-moment fantasy of it — expressing your love despite the thick of the crowd, just you and yours against the world. 

So if you hear a sound while you’re having this magical moment, it’s not the violins swelling from that one really climactic Verve song, it’s me, ralphing. 

Yeah, that’s right. Even if the establishment is crowded and no one seems to notice or care, I will be there, openly vomiting in your vicinity. Be a mensch. Have some consideration.

Great. Now I’ve lost all appetite for the ice cream sundaes I’m scheduled to have tonight. Thanks, you young dicks.

Been on an OST bender and came across the “Cider House Rules” soundtrack. I’ve never seen such a spoiler-heavy track listing! Damn. Guess I can delete that from my Queue.

1. Main Titles
2. Homer’s Lessons
3. Young Girl’s Burial *(‘Young Girl’? We never know her name? Does she never speak? Is it just some dead extra?)
4. Homer Asks Wally for a Ride
5. Homer Leaves Orphanage *(I didn’t know he’d ever leave those princes of Maine!)
6. The Ocean
7. The Cider House
8. Wally Goes Off to War *(Dunno who Wally is, but this makes it obvious that we’re to compare his journey to Homer’s… Who’s Homer?)
9. Lobster Dinner *(Oh, snap, lobster?! They live it up at the Cider House.)
10. Burying Fuzzy *(‘Fuzzy’? Why aren’t there any normal names in this movie?)
11. Homer & Candy On the Dock
12. Rose Rose is Pregnant *(Who Who’s pregnant?!)
13. Abortion *(Doesn’t matter who Rose Rose is; that baby’s movie lifespan is under 8-10 minutes.)
14. Picker’s Leave *(If someone ain’t dying, they’re just leaving.)
15. Dr. Larch Dies *(Dag, who doesn’t die in this movie?)
16. Homer Returns to the Orphanage *(Is it to say #17?)
17. Goodnight You Kings of New England
18. End Credits

I am honored to know this gentleman and his beautiful photographer.

devrimariephotography:

Joseph Mattson, author of the novel Empty the Sun.

Emptythesun.com

you walk into your room and say aloud, “It smells like ass in here.”

My mother struggling to explain the sinuous, torrid details of a soap opera to a furrow-browed Grandma = priceless. Grandma must have said, “who’s the stepmother?” at least thirty-three times.

If and when I do see this for purchase, I go nuclear on the cashier.

Will you play Sam Cooke if I write his biopic? I promise I’ll do an incredible job.

They’re my friends.

Certainly, I will dress this year.

M. Hulot I will be.

I choreographed Gene Tierney and Spike Lee to dance to this song.

Spike looked unamused the entire time.